Saturday, May 29, 2010

Letter to A Friend

A friend emailed me and asked if I was excited about my upcoming surgery. My email back to her is below.

Why am I sharing this? In case there is someone out there that is standing in the same spot that I am, then they will know it's normal to be scared or nervous or freaking out. It's ok.

***


Honestly, this week has been so busy for me with it being the last week of school, graduation, graduation parties, my job, etc that it's flown by so even though it's been in my head and right in front of me the whole time, I just keep going to other stuff trying to get it all done before I leave.

Thoughts


I think I am most excited simply to get my arthritis drugs back. My body hurts.


My kids are freaking me out. Each has pretty much said their goodbyes, you know, just in case. Of course they didn't say it like that but each has made a trip to just visit me and I know that's what it is. Eek. =\


I freaked me out yesterday when I put the grandbaby down for a nap. I was sitting on her bed, gave her a kiss, snuggled for a minute and then said "Bye Millie" when I meant to say "night night Millie".  Then yesterday, Regan (age 3) who is not the cuddly one, wanted to cuddle with me all day and told me twice that she loved me. And then as I was leaving, Taylor (Millie's twin) followed me to the door and just stood there looking at me all sad, said nothing, just stood there looking at me. Freaky.


I keep reminding myself to write a letter to all of them...you know, just in case. I'm worrying about my husband, he's computer illiterate and I pay all the bills online. He knows where nothing is, life insurance, etc. Honestly, he would be so lost if something happened.


So yeah, I'm not panicking or considering backing out, just freaking myself here and there.


Here and there I do think of questions and make a mental note to ask you then when I get to the computer, it's gone. I've got to start writing some of this stuff down. I'll start today. haha


Linda

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